As women we are often taught to hide our brilliance in order to be loved and accepted. Many of us come into therapy with a deep-seated need to be seen and heard.
Many of us didn't feel loved for who we truly were growing up. After so long, we lost sight of our true selves and settled for a lesser version. Our true selves became atrophied like a muscle that hasn’t had the chance to move and strengthen.
In the right environment, (one where there's connection, safety, exploration, and expression) the inner self emerges, revealing surprising results. Creativity flourishes, relationships thrive, life becomes richer, freer and more vital.
We grant ourselves permission to be bold, sexy, silly, loud, outrageous, untethered which reminds me of the book, Untethered Soul by Michael Singer. It's a good read. It delves into this inner relationship we have with our thoughts and emotions. It shows us what we can do to free ourselves from the habits and patterns that trap us and limit our consciousness. It's a good read and reread as a steady reminder of who we really are.
All of us want to be free to be ourselves, in all its complexity, simplicity, vulnerability, and fragility. We want to feel safe and supported, seen, heard and not judged. (We are often our worst critics.)
We need to deal with our inner judges and critics that impose shame, guilt and blame on us.
These toxic forces form the inner judges work against developing a healthy relationship with our true selves. They distort the truth, shroud our path, and dull the light and brilliance of who we are. These distortions are all for the sake of self-protection on some level. But it is a limiting and distorted picture and needs to realign with our highest potential selves.
Just as an aside, I work with many couples. Often both people enter into therapy not feeling seen or heard by their partners. All of us want to feel deeply connected to our partners and feel safe, loved and understood. But how much of what we are trying to get from our significant others are actually connections we long for within ourselves?
When we are deeply connect with our own physical, emotional, creative and spiritual selves, we are much better equipped to create the relationships we desire and lead the lives we know we are meant to live.
The art work is mine. It was a commissioned for a young lady named Emily Grace for her 12th birthday. Her favourite colours are pink and purple and fiddleheads are her passion.
I’m going to end with a poem that I hope inspires you as much as it does me...enjoy your day!
For the Artist at the Start of Day by John O'Donohue
May morning be astir with the harvest of night;
Your mind quickening to the eros of a new question,
Your eyes seduced by some unintended glimpse
That cut right through the surface to a source.
May this be a morning of innocent beginning,
When the gift within you slips clear
Of the sticky web of the personal
With its hurt and its hauntings,
And fixed fortress corners,
A Morning when you become a pure vessel
For what wants to ascend from silence,
May your imagination know
The grace of perfect danger,
To reach beyond imitation,
And the wheel of repetition,
Deep into the call of all
The unfinished and unsolved
Until the veil of the unknown yields
And something original begins
To stir toward your senses
And grow stronger in your heart
In order to come to birth
In a clean line of form,
That claims from time
A rhythm not yet heard,
That calls space to
A different shape.
May it be its own force field
And dwell uniquely
Between the heart and the light
To surprise the hungry eye
By how deftly it fits
About its secret loss.
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